On finding your Why.
Happy New Year to you, it’s day 2 of 2026. I always find these days at the start of a new year filled with an energy of excitement, anticipation and promise. For me it’s a time to look forward with wonder at all my plans for the year and all the possibilities that lie ahead.
For many of us it’s a time to recalibrate after perhaps a big overindulgent festive period or simply a time to set new goals, realign our focus and look forward to what this year can be.
New Year, New Me.
We’ve all heard this term thrown around at this time of year and for many of us, we set goals we rarely stick to. According to an InsideOut Mastery article (2024) only 9% of people successfully keep their New Year’s resolutions, 23% quit in the first week, 64% by the end of the first month and 81% before the end of the second year. The running app Strava identified the second Friday in January as Quitters’ Day, the day when most people abandon their goals.
Why do so many of us struggle to keep our resolutions? I know myself, I have several outstanding resolutions I didn’t commit to. I’ve said I was going to get in the best shape of my life for several years now and another year has passed without me reaching my aspirational goal.
With all of that in mind, I wanted to share in this week’s letter three steps to achieve our goals and a practical tool I’ve recently used that has genuinely helped me.
I am a huge fan of personal development and learn from many of the greats in the field. What I am sharing here isn’t my own knowledge but lessons and guidance I have learnt over the years. If you look closely at successful people, they tend to say the same things again and again. There really is a formula for success, we just don’t always implement it.
Marie Forleo teaches that there are two things we must do if we want to achieve anything. First we need to DECIDE what we want. We need to be crystal clear about what we want and fully stand behind it. Next, she says we have to COMMIT to it fully. 100% all in. We need to be willing to do whatever it takes, to burn our boats, removing any option of retreat. Like I said, all the greats repeat these ideas, so there must be truth in them. After all, success leaves clues.
So we have decided. We have committed. What next?
Many leaders in personal development, including Tony Robbins (my absolute fav), speak about the importance of finding your WHY or having a compelling future. Something that pulls you forward. Without it, at the first sign of difficulty, we give up. Tony Robbins explains that many of us jump straight into the strategy of achieving our goals, the how and the what, without spending enough time on the why. Simon Sinek’s video on starting with why has been watched millions of times.
Maybe the secret to our success really does begin there. If we have a why that is powerful enough, it becomes almost impossible not to do what is required.
One of the best exercises I have used is something I learned from Dean Graziosi called ‘7 Levels Deep’. It’s designed to help you get to the core reason behind your goal and uncover your true why.
You start with your goal.
For example, ‘I want to get a six pack’.
Ask: Why is getting a six pack important to me?
Answer: Because I want to be healthy.
Ask: Why is getting healthy important to you?
Answer: Because I want to live a long life.
Ask: Why is living a long life important to you?
By the seventh question, you normally reach the real one, the answer that feels emotional and powerful. Which then becomes your driving force, your reason for wanting to achieve the goal. It means on those cold, wintery mornings you are getting out of the cosy bed and working on that six pack because you know exactly why you are doing it.
I’ve written it out in the past, but it wasn’t until I used AI to coach me through the questions that I finally reached the true depth of my why. This time, I went to eight questions, because at seven I could feel I was close but not quite there. At eight, I found it, I had goosebumps and could feel that this was it, I could feel how deeply it sat with me.
My Why.
“I never want to feel trapped. I want the freedom for me and my family to fly.”
I had never touched that depth before. I didn’t know this belief lived underneath my ambition. But when it came out, it made perfect sense to me and goes all the way back to a dream I had when I was 18 years old. This Why without my realsing has actually been guiding my decisions and my life, unconsciously for 17+ years. I’ll share more about that another time.
Since finding my why, I can feel the difference. I don’t have to force myself to write these letters or explore my ideas. I feel pulled. I feel guided and I want to take action. Having a why feels like having a secret tool in my pocket.
So here are the three steps I’ve discovered to build the foundation for achieving our goals:
Decide.
Commit.
Find your why.
I hope these three simple but mighty steps help you make 2026 a phenomenal year and that you move the needle forward towards your goals. That you begin to design the life you dream of.
Always with love,
💛 Emma
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your goals or your own why for 2026. Hit reply and share it with me.