The dream that haunts me.
I grew up on a farm in southwest Scotland in a loving and supportive family, and I always knew I wanted to travel and explore the world. At 18, in Australia, I had a dream so vivid and visceral it has stayed with me ever since. I dreamt I was a bird trapped in a cage, and I woke up with this haunting feeling of never wanting to be trapped, and wanting to be free.
Over the next few years, I found that freedom through travel, with nothing but a rucksack on my back. In 2012 I arrived in South Africa, where I founded Be United with my co-founder Boysie Gumede. (I also met my future husband on that very first trip.)
Building Be United.
Back in Scotland, over 13 years, I grew Be United from an idea into a nationally recognised, multi-year funded organisation amplifying Black creative voices. I'm very proud of the role we played in changing who gets access to opportunities in Scotland's cultural landscape.
But somewhere along the line, the life I had created started to feel like a cage.
Show me your friends.
By 2018 I was in debt, Be United wasn't taking off and I didn't have a great group of friends. I'd been fucking around and chasing the male gaze. After a messy situationship, a bad breakup and an abortion, I hit rock bottom.
I remember being told "show me your friends and I'll show you your future". I looked at my life and knew my present wasn't going to create the future I wanted.
So I got really intentional. I was done fucking around, and I decided I wasn't going to have sex again until I met my husband. No timeline, no expectations. I just knew I was waiting for him, and in the meantime I had work to do on me. I was brutal in my quest for what I wanted, and I started dreaming again.
Then life, as it beautifully does, life’s.
In 2019 I started speaking again to a man I'd known since 2012. In 2021 we became official, and in 2022 we married. I stopped chasing and I started attracting. (We have the greatest love story, and I'll share it over time.)
Be United took off, I made new friends and reconnected with old ones. Then in 2025, two huge milestones: I found out I was pregnant, and we secured three years of multi-year funding for Be United. For the first time in 13 years, I could step away, and in 2026 I handed in my notice.
I had to rediscover who I was.
Leaving Be United was a huge but absolutely right decision. I had a new role, Mum, to step into, and an old role I was stepping away from. I wasn't prepared for the identity shift that took place in me. It took almost a year to find myself happily in this new season.
Why Love?
When I took stock of my life, two things jumped out. The loneliness epidemic we're living in breaks my heart, because I've been there: lost, alone and wanting love. And I love love. I'm a rom com girl through and through.
So my next mission is to walk women through the journey I've been on, to build their confidence and know their worth, so they can attract the love of their life. I want that for you.
‘‘Every woman deserves the love she dreams of’’.
— Emma Sithole
Let’s talk
If my story feels a little like yours, the first step is a free connection call. Tell me a little about where you are below, and I'll reply within 2 working days with times for your call.
We'll talk about what you want and whether the WISER Way is right for you.
And if you'd like to get in touch about speaking, press or something else, use the form below too.